Category Archives: Dark poetry

Gone

Half a lonely world away
they put my friend in the ground today.
There is no goddamn reason why
he had to die at 35.
Lost and looking around
til finally what he found
was the end
at the bottom
of a bottle

Tonight I peek in one myself
with only an embarrassing wealth
of memories, good and bad,
but now all tinged sad.
I would’ve and I should’ve
though not sure I could’ve
been a better kind of friend
or anything at all in the end.

Now I can only hope in death
he found a bit of peace and rest;
Peace I’m now not so sure I’ll get
without him on this lonely planet

The Cure said it so much better:

“I should’ve stopped to think, I should’ve made the time
I could’ve had that drink, I could’ve talked a while
I would’ve done it right, I would’ve moved us on
But I didn’t, now it’s all too late
It’s over, over
And you’re gone

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much

But how how many times can I walk away and wish if only
But how many times can I talk this way and wish If only
Keep on making the same mistake
Keep on aching the same heartbreak
I wish If only

But If only
Is a wish too late”

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Escape Fantasy

Get the hell out;

out to salvation,

out of the shit.

Leave behind the shitty places and shitty people.

Out of the fire and into the frying pan.

Find the exit

before it’s too late.

Do not think of freedom,

there’s no such thing.

Do not think of peace,

that’s a fantasy.

Just think of a way out.

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Self Loathing

With a gun in my mouth for the last time,

I swear and I swear no more excuses for hanging around.

If I’ve got to be me

then no need to be.

Time to pay for my life of emotional crimes.

Finally found myself and I hate what I found.

 .

Will the last friend leaving please turn out the lights?

Regret and remorse have defined my life.

Suicide solution,

30 year old abortion.

No more fire, no more love, no more spite,

no more energy or desire to deal with the strife.

 .

If I could be anybody else, I’d already be them,

incompetence and emptiness always foil

my best laid plans,

self-improvement programs.

Ready for my 9 millimeter medicine,

ready to blow myself off this mortal coil.

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Please note this poem reflects a moment of morose but honest self-reflection, however in no way do I think suicide is in any way a good idea and have honestly never seriously considered it.  And I hope this doesn’t offend anyone who has had the horrible experience of having someone they knew take their own life.

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Filed under Dark poetry, Poetry

Another One of Those Days

Today feels like a million bucks,

put in a place that I just can’t touch.

Dreamin’ of a life that’s not my own,

when I woke up I was fully grown

and found I’d lost it all;

what it was I can’t recall.

Got my back to the wall, face in the wind

losin’ all hope and thinkin’ bout the end.

No one to blame but I still complain

don’t get my way ain’t that a shame;

and it kills each time that I see,

next guy’s got it better than me.

Sometimes I don’t care what it’s all about

fuck the race, I think I’m droppin’ out,

take some time to work it out.

Say goodbye and walk away,

just before I fade away.

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Modern Life

…but you don’t know how it feels

to lose things that you never had.

I guess life is supposed to be sad;

and dreams were meant to end.

Hearts are breaking again and again.

I just don’t see how we can

pick up the pieces scattered around;

We’re shipwrecked so far from land,

and it all falls down.

So scared of the truth but so sick of the lies;

truth and true love got lost on the way

to a way of life whose price we can’t pay.

Keep seeing broken lies behind smiling eyes.

Beautified faces and falsified bodies

they’re all soulless hotties

pumping out shit on TV.

In the end, who could believe

what we’ve come to;

kill time and kill people and sell off our souls

just for something to do.

Use toys and cheap sex just to cover the holes,

but you don’t know how it feels

to lose dreams that you never had;

Please don’t blame it on mom and dad.

Mistakes can’t be done over, deals

can’t be unmade; all of your debts

have to be paid.  Don’t tell me you have no regrets.

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These Days

These days my smiles are little lies

that never can quite reach my eyes;

and no one seems to notice, no one seems to care,

but knowing what I’m worth, I guess disinterest’s fair.

My world of color turns to shades of black and gray,

and I keep on talking though there’s nothing left to say.

I could use a hug, a kiss, a look, a touch,

but I understand how that’s asking too much.

For giving isn’t easy and I hate to take;

I’d rather live with pretenses and smiles that are fake.

It’s not as though my life is hard – just simple and plain;

but living it has turned me into a desert without rain.

I, the loveless wasteland, have a feeling I can’t shake,

that if I vied for suicide there’d be no life to take.

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One of those days

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Leavin’ now and I’m never comin’ back;

guess I got myself to thank for that.

Do what I do but I cannot make a dent;

go to work come home and it’s time to pay the rent.

Don’t wanna go out but I can’t stay home,

go to a party where I’m all alone.

Cried so hard that I broke my soul,

spend my time just tryin’ to fill the hole;

guess we’re all just playing roles.

Got a gun in my mouth and a ticket in my hand,

either way, they won’t understand;

maybe no one can.

Take a trip take a train take a ride on a plane,

going somewhere no one knows my name,

but I guess it’s all the same.

Spend my days talkin’ to myself,

truth is I’ve got no one else.

Win a little bit then I lose it all.

Who am I gonna call to break my fall?

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